When You're in College and Quietly Not Okay

Everyone around you seems to be figuring it out. The parties, the major, the friend group, the relationship. And you're sitting in your dorm or your apartment wondering why it feels so hard when it's supposed to be the best years of your life.

That gap between what college is supposed to feel like and what it actually feels like is one of the most common things I hear from young adults, and it makes sense. You've been handed a tremendous amount of freedom and responsibility at the same time your brain is still developing, your support system just relocated, and every decision feels like it might define the rest of your life.

What actually brings college students to therapy

It's rarely one dramatic thing. More often it's a slow accumulation: the anxiety that started in high school and never really went away, the relationship that ended and hit harder than expected, the major you picked because it seemed practical and now dreads you, the feeling of being surrounded by people and still completely alone.

Sometimes it's the realization that the coping strategies that got you through high school, staying busy, pushing through, keeping it together for everyone else, aren't working anymore.

You don't have to be in crisis to come to therapy

This is probably the most important thing. Therapy isn't reserved for people who are falling apart. It's actually most useful when you're functional enough to do the work: when you have enough stability to get curious about your patterns instead of just surviving them.

A lot of college students wait until finals week meltdowns or a relationship implosion before reaching out. But the students who get the most out of therapy are often the ones who come in saying "I'm doing okay, I just feel like something's off and I want to understand it."

The practical stuff

If you're a Colorado college student, telehealth makes this easier than you might think. You don't need to be in Lone Tree. You need a private space and a decent internet connection.

If you're on your parents' insurance, you may have coverage — it's worth a five-minute call to your insurance company to ask about mental health benefits. I'm in-network with UnitedHealthcare, Kaiser, and Aetna, and I also offer private pay for clients who want more flexibility and privacy.

The first step is just a 15-minute consultation with no commitment. We’ll just have a conversation to see if it's a fit.

You've spent a long time holding it together. It's okay to put some of that down.