What to Do When Your Teen Shuts You Out.
It’s one of the hardest moments as a parent—your teen closes the door, says “I’m fine,” and shuts you out completely. You know something’s off, but you’re not sure how to reach them. They used to talk to you, but now? Silence, eye rolls, or tension.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing as a parent.
Why Teens Shut Down
Adolescence is a time of huge emotional, social, and brain development. Your teen is figuring out who they are, separating from you as part of that process, and dealing with internal pressures you may not see.
Some common reasons teens pull away:
They don’t have the words to explain what they’re feeling
They’re overwhelmed by anxiety, school stress, or peer drama
They’re afraid of being judged, punished, or misunderstood
They feel pressure to be “okay” even when they’re not
As frustrating as it is, pulling away can actually be a protective response—your teen is trying to handle things on their own.
How to Keep the Connection
While you can’t force your teen to open up, you can create an environment where it feels safer to do so. Try:
Being available without pressuring them to talk
Asking open-ended questions, like “What’s been on your mind lately?”
Staying calm when they share hard things—even if it’s not what you hoped to hear
Naming what you notice gently: “I’ve seen you seem down lately. I’m here if you want to talk.”
Sometimes, just knowing you're steady and nonjudgmental is enough to get them to crack the door open again.
When Therapy Helps
If your teen continues to shut down, therapy can help them open up in a neutral, non-parent space. In my work with teens, I provide a calm, confidential environment where they can express themselves on their own terms.
As a parent, you may also benefit from guidance on how to support them through this phase—without taking it personally or walking on eggshells.
Located in Lone Tree, CO, I work with teens and parents both in person and online across Colorado. If your teen seems withdrawn and you’re not sure what to do next, I’m here to help.
Reach out anytime. You don’t have to do this alone.
